Lena Chan.
Virgo.
Disclaimer: I shall not be held liable for the things I said...

Find my FROG prince..
Be Tai Tai!
Lead an interesting and exciting life..!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

was doing recap today and trying real hard to squeeze all the information into my brain. there is so much to study. each chp took me abt 5 hr to study. so i took like 7 days to finish studying everything. ended yest n so i'm starting to do recap today n tmr to refresh n uncover all the information fr my rusty memory. tired... luckily tis is my last paper. i'm praying hard tt i wun screw up for the paper. i must jiayou.

tis morning i received a msg fr my classmate regarding my accounting report. the one tt i had gotten a D+. my fren told me tt the coordinator wanna meet us to discuss abt our report. i heard fr my fren tt she was nt the marker n she had helped a grp to review their grades after discussing the content wif them. was so glad to hear tt. but still unsure abt the fate of our report. cos i dunno if the coordinator will buy our argument of our project content or nt. nvm. gonna wait till next wk to meet her. n the more pressing thing is tis fri's exam. scary... 2 hr paper wif 3 qns, inclusive of parts. conquer my fear! neva give up... 2 more day! yeah...

Lena blogged.. @9:36 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

i was so upset these few days. been stuck at home for the whole day n still gonna get scoldings fr my parents. aiyo. jus hope tt everything will be back to normal soon. was criticised by my dear tt i'm nt a good writer. ya i noe tt. but i'm writing a blog. so i guess i dun need to use fantansic n powerful words to express my feelings rite? i jus wanna write down my feelings n vent my frustrations.

freedom to come! 3 more days b4 the end of everything. looking fwd to tis sat kbox-ing session as our hk kor kor is flying to us soon. so it's like the last time b4 we can really hve fun tog. besides tt, i jus wanna enjoy myself. crossing fingers n hoping tt everything turns out well. cos ling had an interview on sat. n hk is gg to leave early to meet his frens. praying hard!!!

Lena blogged.. @9:01 PM

Monday, April 28, 2008

i'm trying to get over wat had happened yest. but a bit hard. din wan talk to my mum n bro. cos i felt tt my mum was really too harsh yest. i dun wan to be the first to start the conversation. n my mum still seem to be still angry. i was rather angry tis afternoon. tot abt a lot of stuff. jus feel tt my mum didnt discipline my bro much. jus bcos she wants some peace at home so she saves her energy to scold him. tt's really nt disciplining him. she will only made my bro worse. dun understand them. last time when i was small, they kept scolding me la. but now my mum dun even wan to scold my bro for the things he did wrongly. den kept asking me nt to make a fuss out of small things. next time i wun be so nice to my children. discipline is important. i guess my bro is really spoilt... n also my mum kept changing her opinion. first ask me nt to lend my bro my comp, only lend him when he's doing hw. n now she jus said lend him the comp for an hr to play cos she dun wan him to go outside n roam abt. the prob is we wan him to study. n if u dun give him money n dun let him play, i guess he will start studying wat. tt's like so simple. n if u dun buy psp n game boy, he wun play so much wat. diao. dun understand y parents r wasting money nowadays n tt is the result they get. children getting rebellious, nt studying hard, gg out everyday to play... sucks!

anw, counting down to last paper. 2 more chapters left. n 4 more days to study. gg to mug really hard these few days but hardly gt any motivation. sian. waiting for it to be over. wanna enjoy the holidays...

Lena blogged.. @9:10 PM

i tot it will be a wonderful sunday today. but it jus turned out so badly. jus hope nth will happen later after i had blogged. woke up super late today cos had a sleepless nite yest and was disturbed by my bro during my beauty slp. was sneezing all the way while i was reading n studying. everything went on rather well until after my lunch. went back to study n my stupid bro came in to ask for my comp. i dun like to lend him my comp as i feel tt he gt nth better to do but playing games. he always destroy things. the last time he touched my comp, my comp was sent for repair for 500 over dollars to replace the hard disk. to me, he's a jinx n a destruction bro. he snatched my comp n went to the living to play. din even gt any approval fr me. i'm super furious. went out and scolded him. he scolded in reply. he sucks! our quarrels awaken our father who was resting in his room as he had worked long hours everyday. i banged my door n tt left my mum scolding n reprimanding my bro. my mum even threw books at my bro. in return, my sucky bro threw back n tis really made my mum damn angry tt she slapped my bro. my mum even asked him to leave the hse n my bro did. tt's so surprising la. but i couldnt care so much cos i was also scolded horribly my mum as i went out to look at wat really happened. tis upset my entire day. was crying fr afternoon till now with breaks in between. din get to eat dinner. my bro din return until ard 8 plus when he came back for dinner. dunno if it's him who had eaten my dinner. he really sucks!

i mean i noe it is a very small thing tt shld be controlled rite fr the start. but i jus couldnt control my temper. i really hve low tolerance level for my stupid bro. he always nt studying even when exams r round the corner. wat he does is to play his psp, gameboy, watch tv, went to tbp to walk abt or play at the arcade. n when all these things bore him, he will disturb me to ask me to lend him my comp. of course i'm furious wif him cos it's like my comp is very precious to me. all the documents r inside n tt my comp is really prone to virus attacks. i jus cant stand him always using my comp to play games n downloading rubbish stuff. n the worse thing is he always borrow my comp in the name of doing homework. tt's incorrigible. i hate him. i dun understand y i hve such stupid bro who dun reflect his actions n making ppl worry for him.

my mum even doted him so much. always giving him money to buy stuff tt r of no use. it's really like throwing money away. everytime i scold him, she will jus ask me to talk to him nicely. but in the first place, i had tried n when nth can be helped, i can only resort to scolding n yelling. my mum jus cant understand tis. i guess tt's the difference btw having a son n a daughter.

jus now as i was studying, random tots jus flooded my mind. had really tot of running away fr my hse if my bro din come home. as i really dunno how to face my parents if my bro really went into any trouble. was thinking abt where i shld go, who to approach, wat r the things to bring only n many many more. all these arises cos my mum said tt i wun runaway fr hse as i'm a girl. n my bro is rebellious n tt if anything goes wrong, i will really regret. i meet it's true tt i'll regret. but i dun like her tone. sigh... i jus dun understand y they sided my bro so much. it's not like the problem is wif me but wat they attribute all the probs to me. my mum said i cant get along wif my sis n now i cant get along wif my bro. tt spells tt i'm the problematic one? no... i dun understand!!! i dun wonder reconciled wif my sis cos i'm scared tt she always backstabbed me n tell bad things to her grandma which in the end cos many stupid misunderstandings. i scold my bro often cos i wan him to learn wat. there's nth wrong wat. if i dun care abt him, would i even scold him? the ans is definitely NO! cos i wun even bother talking to him...

have been really thinking abt tis. i feel tt my mum shld feel lucky to hve me as her daughter. i always do housework for her even with my busy schedule. stay wif her even when she's upset. n i dun deserve any appreciation but scoldings... wat's this? bias? cos i'm near so u cant feel my presence. it's only ur sis tt u care. it's only ur son tt u care? pls dun take things for granted... i'm weak n i cant take any more of tis esp during my exam period.

i'm famished... tired also. i jus hope tmr will be well. *praying hard*
always happened during the midst of preparing my last paper. last sem also happened b4, i wondered y tt happened. jus hope it wun affect my final paper...

wat kind of reflection shld be done throu tis incident? i guess i really need to control my temper. but how? i dunno. i'm learning but it's hard. n i shld really talk nicely to ppl le ba.

change for the better...

Lena blogged.. @9:04 PM

today is only the 5th day of my revision. 6 more days to go b4 freedom arrive. I must press on! Cannot give up. Today i only studied 2 chapters with 100 over pages and I'm already feeling so sian and tired. Thinking about the holidays ahead. Have been wondering wat it will be like for my attachment and I'm sure i'm gg to get busy after exams. Need to get many stuff and enjoy my one week of freedom. Waiting and longing for it to come...

yest night watch a horror movie called coma on channel u. I tot it's supposed to be quite scary but it's not that scary afterall. Erm. Maybe cos I din off the lights while watching. Haha. Anw, the story turned out to be a tragedy sad story. It was about a female inspector who sold insurance, went to inspect abt a case in an old run down hospital that was gg to be demolished soon. The hospital was sort of creepy as the people working there were weird and the place was rather dilapidated. As tis inspector went to inspect on the case, her memories rekindled. She had been to tis hospital when she was young. She had a sister when she was young and her sister was ill with sickness. Thus, this pair of sibling was always stuck in the hospital. The inspector had to look after her younger sister since young. Their family were rather poor so every year, their mother working hard to earn money for the hospital fees. Every year, during her bday, the inspector could not go out for celebration but to stay in the hospital to look after her sister. She felt rather frustrating and angry with her sis as such, she did not treat her sis well. During this particular yr on her bday, the pair of siblings decided to get out of the place. however, the inspector lost her sis when she's trying to lure the nurse away. From den onwards, she din get to see her younger sis anymore. It was believed tt her sis died in the chamber or some where. So coincidentally, the inspector came back on her bday. N she gt haunted by her younger sis who was being released fr the chamber by mistake. the story ended tt the inspector was bumped by a car and her younger sis sang the bday song to her. That's like no head no tail. Haha. Anw, it's a sad story cos the younger sis gt killed cos of her sis negligence and tt the elder sis was rather nt understanding to her younger sis. haha

Pardon for my lousy eng. That's all for story telling. Hope u guys understand the story...

Lena blogged.. @11:00 PM

So tired. I jus finished 2 chapters today. So slow rite? But the chapters were so long and so many things to memorise! Sian... 10 more days to my last paper. It seems that I have ample time to study but I'm still scared cos all the chapters are so long and scary... Hopefully that I can memorise everything by fri! Tired... Waiting for next fri to come... Its still so far away. Exams stress!

Went to my dear's house yest. Heard from him that one of my HR cohort fren felt that the Accounting paper was easy. He was the first person to say that. All my frens hate that paper. Heard from dear that he got a C for his project. It's nt a good grade but it's definitely better than mine ba. D+!!! Still waiting for my tutor to get back to us. I'm jus wondering whether he saw our report or not. *praying hard* I hope he can really review the grade for us. But I guess I should dun dwell too much abt it since its really hard to change tt project report grade.

Jiayou for my last paper:) Good luck to my ntu frens who r finishing their exams and my nus frens who r starting their exams soon!

Lena blogged.. @9:07 PM

Sigh... It's been a long day in school. So many things jus happened in jus one day. I still couldnt get over those things. I guess I jus need time to wash away all my memories. Time heal all wounds. I hope it does the same to me.

My mind is jus filled with my D+ project report grade, Accounting II paper and Malay paper. Sigh.. Why do I have such a complicated mind? Stay happy and dont brood over things, rite? I also hope tt I can be tt simple but it's easier said than done. Life still goes on... But the effect of this project report may jus leave a mark in my honours degree. It's such a great impact la!!!

Although people always say that results are not everything in life, life still revolve around grades and education level. U can live ur life to the fullest without caring abt grades but in the end, people hired u and judge u academically and appearance. Tt's how cruel life is...

Have been trying my best to prove to ppl that I can do it. "I'm not as stupid as u all think. I'm capable. I'm better than u all." I jus wan to be perfect!

Enough of my nonsense. Shall stop here. I will till continue to jiayou de. Hopefully one day my hard work pays off.

For all who are still in exam mood, neva give up!!! Work smartly k! Jiayou jiayou!

Lena blogged.. @11:14 PM

I'm now in the school library studying for my next paper - malay which I had S/U already. I just wanna vent out my frustration and sadness. This morning I took my Accounting II paper. It was really disastrous. My hope of doing well tis semester is gone again. The paper was really difficult and I really did not know how to attempt the questions. I tot my nightmare will be over after the paper... As we were waiting anxiously to be released from the examination hall, the course coordinator announced that we can collect our project report which was placed outside the examination hall. I actually looked forward to getting back my project report because our group put in a lot of effort and that I feel that my group members were very cooperative during the project...

After being released from the examination hall, my team manager went to collect the report. Jus as I was expecting a decent grade, she told us it's a bad news. Was so devastated. It's really a double blow! My group got a D+ for our report. Oh no... That's the worse project grade I had ever gotten. Cant believe my ears!!! Sigh.. We even heard other projects getting worse grades like F. But ours is really bad. The marker was really sucky! She didnt even put in effort to read our project questioning and commenting that we did not put in the relevant details.

I can seriously imagine myself taking tis module again the next semester. Dapao... Sad:( We went to our tutor's room hoping that he can help us review our grade and to speak to the course coordinator on our behalf. But he was not around and hence, we slotted in our report with a note.

Nvm. I shall go back and mug for my malay le! Jiayou!

Lena blogged.. @1:34 PM

I should be studying now. But I'm jus very demoralised after attempting those past year exams qns for my elective astronomy. Although it's jus an mcq exam, I jus feel so anxious and frightened by my first paper tmr. Cos i had heard fr frens that astro is very difficult in its content. Besides that, after studying the notes and textbook, I'm quite drained and tired bcos the terms and content are really too much to absorb. I had even heard of my frens who failed for their mcq exams. Tt's so scary. Sigh... I'm also worried for my core exam paper which will be one day after my elective paper. The papers are so close together. My paper tmr is at 5pm to 7pm and the next paper is at 9am in the following morning. Diao. I dunno how I'll fare this semester. Jus hope it wun be that bad. Back to the reality... Study hard! Mug mug mug!

Lena blogged.. @6:00 PM

It's been really long since I last blogged. Super tired. Was studying for the last few days. My brain cells all going to die very soon. Studying will make one exhausted. One month more before my misery ends and my holidays come. But it will be another tiring holiday. There are so many things to do. Professional Attachment starting on the 12 May and ending in the first week of July. Still not sure of the details but I really hope it will be an interesting experience. Attachment would also mean I have to dress up. Wow. Die la... I dunno how to makeup and I'm working in a hotel. Really must learn how to make up le. Need to buy lots of formal clothes too. Busy... Beside all these, I will also need to do my Final Year Project which will be due in the March 2009. Diao. So early start... Erm. My tutor kiasu. Haha. But it's a good thing to start early. Even did a research proposal and project timeline to ensure our progress in the research project will be a fruitful and efficient one... Still got more things to do. I want to learn driving and go on holiday. Waiting and waiting... Waiting for holidays to come... Jiayou jiayou! Never say die.

To all my friends who's having their exams: Jiayou! Good Luck too!
Meet up after exam:)

Lena blogged.. @10:27 PM