i tot it will be a wonderful sunday today. but it jus turned out so badly. jus hope nth will happen later after i had blogged. woke up super late today cos had a sleepless nite yest and was disturbed by my bro during my beauty slp. was sneezing all the way while i was reading n studying. everything went on rather well until after my lunch. went back to study n my stupid bro came in to ask for my comp. i dun like to lend him my comp as i feel tt he gt nth better to do but playing games. he always destroy things. the last time he touched my comp, my comp was sent for repair for 500 over dollars to replace the hard disk. to me, he's a jinx n a destruction bro. he snatched my comp n went to the living to play. din even gt any approval fr me. i'm super furious. went out and scolded him. he scolded in reply. he sucks! our quarrels awaken our father who was resting in his room as he had worked long hours everyday. i banged my door n tt left my mum scolding n reprimanding my bro. my mum even threw books at my bro. in return, my sucky bro threw back n tis really made my mum damn angry tt she slapped my bro. my mum even asked him to leave the hse n my bro did. tt's so surprising la. but i couldnt care so much cos i was also scolded horribly my mum as i went out to look at wat really happened. tis upset my entire day. was crying fr afternoon till now with breaks in between. din get to eat dinner. my bro din return until ard 8 plus when he came back for dinner. dunno if it's him who had eaten my dinner. he really sucks!
i mean i noe it is a very small thing tt shld be controlled rite fr the start. but i jus couldnt control my temper. i really hve low tolerance level for my stupid bro. he always nt studying even when exams r round the corner. wat he does is to play his psp, gameboy, watch tv, went to tbp to walk abt or play at the arcade. n when all these things bore him, he will disturb me to ask me to lend him my comp. of course i'm furious wif him cos it's like my comp is very precious to me. all the documents r inside n tt my comp is really prone to virus attacks. i jus cant stand him always using my comp to play games n downloading rubbish stuff. n the worse thing is he always borrow my comp in the name of doing homework. tt's incorrigible. i hate him. i dun understand y i hve such stupid bro who dun reflect his actions n making ppl worry for him.
my mum even doted him so much. always giving him money to buy stuff tt r of no use. it's really like throwing money away. everytime i scold him, she will jus ask me to talk to him nicely. but in the first place, i had tried n when nth can be helped, i can only resort to scolding n yelling. my mum jus cant understand tis. i guess tt's the difference btw having a son n a daughter.
jus now as i was studying, random tots jus flooded my mind. had really tot of running away fr my hse if my bro din come home. as i really dunno how to face my parents if my bro really went into any trouble. was thinking abt where i shld go, who to approach, wat r the things to bring only n many many more. all these arises cos my mum said tt i wun runaway fr hse as i'm a girl. n my bro is rebellious n tt if anything goes wrong, i will really regret. i meet it's true tt i'll regret. but i dun like her tone. sigh... i jus dun understand y they sided my bro so much. it's not like the problem is wif me but wat they attribute all the probs to me. my mum said i cant get along wif my sis n now i cant get along wif my bro. tt spells tt i'm the problematic one? no... i dun understand!!! i dun wonder reconciled wif my sis cos i'm scared tt she always backstabbed me n tell bad things to her grandma which in the end cos many stupid misunderstandings. i scold my bro often cos i wan him to learn wat. there's nth wrong wat. if i dun care abt him, would i even scold him? the ans is definitely NO! cos i wun even bother talking to him...
have been really thinking abt tis. i feel tt my mum shld feel lucky to hve me as her daughter. i always do housework for her even with my busy schedule. stay wif her even when she's upset. n i dun deserve any appreciation but scoldings... wat's this? bias? cos i'm near so u cant feel my presence. it's only ur sis tt u care. it's only ur son tt u care? pls dun take things for granted... i'm weak n i cant take any more of tis esp during my exam period.
i'm famished... tired also. i jus hope tmr will be well. *praying hard* always happened during the midst of preparing my last paper. last sem also happened b4, i wondered y tt happened. jus hope it wun affect my final paper...
wat kind of reflection shld be done throu tis incident? i guess i really need to control my temper. but how? i dunno. i'm learning but it's hard. n i shld really talk nicely to ppl le ba.
